I’m baaaaaaack! It’s been a nutty, crazy, busy season. My oldest started preK, my youngest and I had the flu, this pregnancy took a major toll on me physically, and it just felt like I was barely keeping my head above water there for the last few months! And now, here we are in the middle of a pandemic. I’m 37 weeks, and it’s time to get serious.

Things are going well with this pregnancy, despite the discomfort, and for that I’m eternally grateful. Now nesting is in full swing, so thankfully even with the sheltering in place going on, I’m staying busy. The last things left to do are arrange the baby’s clothes in her closet and pack our bags.

Our first birth experience was a long, natural, hospital delivery of our rainbow baby, Claire. It was amazing, hard, and beautiful. Before becoming pregnant with Claire, we suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was devastated by that experience, so when we got pregnant again, I was grateful but extremely anxious. All pregnancy loss is sad, but there’s something especially tragic about losing your first because it forever taints your experience. When your only frame of reference up to that point is a loss, even a healthy pregnancy has an extra layer of fear and anxiety.

Three years later, I can still remember the most vivid details of this eventful day. Things like what songs I sang, what I ate for dinner, and where we parked at the hospital.