Our toddler is in the throes of her threenager stage at 31 months, and I am drowning in tantrums, attempted independence, and the fact that her last nap is nearing the end of its tenure.

This month is BUSY — my husband will be away for work, I will be traveling across the country with 2 kids without him (my mom will be joining us though) to see my sister for the first time in almost 2 years, and then we’ll be driving up north for Thanksgiving with my in laws.

Thriving? What’s that? I am barely surviving right now. One thing, in the trenches of (attempted) parenting a strong-willed toddler, that still makes me feel like I’m capable of SOMETHING is being crafty.

My friend sent me this podcast episode last week from God Centered Mom. It came at just the right time, as I was recovering from weeks of guilt after traumatizing my toddler over a poop accident (that was mostly my fault to begin with).

“Grace never calls right wrong. If right were wrong there’d be no need for grace. The assumption of grace is that wrong is wrong and that’s why grace is needed.”

It helped me shift my perspective toward “responding” in situations verses “reacting.” Take a listen, and let me know what you think.

If you know me, then you may already know my deep-seated and longtime desire to be a mother. I lost my first pregnancy to a miscarriage in March of 2014. I was almost 11 weeks along, and for the last 5 weeks we had several ultrasounds as we heard our baby’s heartbeat slow down and eventually stop. I knew knew the odds of having a miscarriage, yet still did not fully grasp the gravity of the situation even as it happened. I desperately wanted to be a mother, and put much of my identity and value into fulfilling that desire.