“There are a lot of reasons to wear a mask, even if you hate it.” Eighteen months in, and still having these hard discussions with people. I think the frustration I feel is due to the inconsistency in messaging. When I take a step back and reevaluate, I feel frustrated by my own lack of control, and lately, the feeling that my safety net has betrayed our highest calling in the interest of a divisive political issue.

Do you have a community? They don’t all have to be exactly like you (in fact I find it’s richer when they’re not), but do you have a village?

I ask because I know what it’s like to live in a different town, far from family and have to raise kids without help, with sometimes tense relations, at a church I didn’t grow up attending, with only half of my family supporting our spiritual beliefs or parenting styles. Some of our family doesn’t even talk to us.

Can you believe that? I can, because it’s real life! It sucks and it’s messy sometimes, and no I don’t always handle it well. But since not everyone knows what it’s like, I’ve found it to be helpful as I work hard to “build my village” when people can relate to some of our story. I know how valuable a check-in here and there from a well-meaning friend can be, no matter how involved or connected we might seem.

I’ve been struggling with the burdens of friendship recently. I believe passionately in community. If you follow me on any platform, you might’ve noticed. I started this blog, a Mothers Ministry, and a neighborhood Bible Study to help encourage women and build community for myself and others. I feel strongly that we need a village, a solid reliable community, to do this earthly life.

Yet I am learning the hard way when you’re far from family in a new area, sometimes you have to build your own village. I want to be obedient to the call to build community for women, particularly mothers, and be an encourager as the Holy Spirit leads me.

My husband and I have been involved at our church for 10 years, and a year ago we began hosting a weekly small group. It’s been good for us because we’ve been able to get to know new people and make new friends. We’ve been helped by our group and we’ve been able to help others.

But, still, people are messy. And when you deal with messy people, life can get messy, too. Hence, burdens!

Feelings are a funny thing. On the one hand, our feelings are valid and it’s okay to acknowledge them, feel them, and give them to God. 1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.”

On the other hand, feelings don’t define us and shouldn’t be where we spend our time. I get stuck here. A lot. I am good at labeling my feelings and acknowledging them, I think, but I tend to hang out there and struggle to move on from them to do something productive. I’d rather find a way to “not feel them,” or I seek out justification for them rather than trying to identify the heart of the issue.

Does this ever happen to you? Can you relate?