I’m so excited to have my hilarious friend Ashley share a snippet of her life with two kids as my first Guest Post! Any moms out there can totally relate to this kind of day, where it seems nothing is going right, and you either laugh or cry about it.
Wacky Wednesday
Staying at home with young kids is a sitcom waiting to write itself for most moms (or dads) but this past Wednesday was the epitome of that. It started off like any ol’ regular day: me pretending my almost 3-year-old (who is clearly up) will go back to sleep as I lie in bed and muster up any/all energy to get up, drinking coffee as my 11-month-old screeches and throws every breakfast food off her tray on the floor for the dog…you know, the regular.
I was very pleased with myself actually–we got out of the house at 9am, in time to do some errands before 10am story time at the library. We arrived at the bank and all 3 got out of the car to deposit 1 check. The teller must have thought that was a lot of effort for a check because he said, “Is this all I’m doing for you today?” Yes, Mike, it is…I’m running early today and thought “why not, lets bring the kids in?” I buckle the kids back in the car 2 minutes later, and as I go to start the car, it won’t start.
It’s a button. There’s only so many ways to push a button, right?!
Well, I pushed it many times, within a 5 minute time span, before calling my husband to cry for help–and he directed me to roadside assistance. After several phone calls, with screaming children in the background, eventually finding the VIN, I was told I had 90 minutes until the tow truck would arrive. What?!
So…I took the kiddos and trekked back into the bank where it’s air conditioned. Did I mention it’s 90 degrees in May in NC? My kids had a blast, wrestling with the ‘fat cat’ stuffed animal (we bank at SECU), trailing veggie stix crumbs everywhere, doing laps around the office wing. My husband came within 30 minutes, because well, a tow truck isn’t going to install my kids’ carseats to transport all 3 of us.
Naturally, he was able to start the car. How, you ask? He pushed the button…(I sure wish I had thought of that). Apparently, he thinks it’s “user” error…well if that’s the case, I’m not spending the rest of my day at Honda Auto park with Thing 1 and Thing 2. I guess I’ll watch a YouTube video on how to push the button later? (Side note: my husband watched MULTIPLE videos on “how to brush your teeth” last night. In his defense, he was recently told he needed gum grafts …all I’m saying is they probably make a YouTube video on “starting your push button engine” right?)
So, bank-and-car-fiasco over… we got to the library just in time for story time to be over, precisely 10:31am. I returned the 468 books we had checked out last week (we only read like the same 5 over and over) and I paid my library fine: NINE DOLLARS and 30 cents?! My last one was 20 cents! What the heck?! I found 10 dollars in the Target parking lot yesterday, so I guess I broke even? (Except I went to Chick-Fil-A yesterday to celebrate). I digress.
We were supposed to meet some friends for story time but since we missed that, Stephanie (another mom friend) and I decided to let the kids play quietly in the library. That’s a joke, right–play quietly? I dragged Frank (almost 3) out of the building after he sprinted through multiple book shelves and I had to literally CHASE him down. We let the kids play outside in the grassy area out front for a minute before leaving. Apparently, not a minute too soon as Frank drops his drawers/underwear and starts peeing in the landscaping, in plain view. Did I mention the police department is across the street? My luck would be an indecent exposure of an almost 3 year old.
After more rallying and getting the kids back in the car, we went to Target. (Yes, I did mention I already went yesterday.) I returned the printer cartridge that I bought yesterday: I needed model 2450, not 2540. Well, I couldn’t find the correct cartridge after scouring 2 shelves of black ink, so I thought, “whatever, I’ll just Amazon prime it.” We also got my uncle a birthday card (and Frank shredded the envelope with scissors he shouldn’t be using soon after getting home, so hope Uncle Rich thinks that’s cute…), cotton balls, and other important things.
I made it out only to realize I didn’t save on any of my Cartwheel deals and I forgot the diapers. Sigh. Target again tomorrow? Wouldn’t be the worst thing, I guess. I drove past Chick-Fil-A (sad face) without buying lunch. Instead we ate hotdogs and raisins at home (#number1mom). I’ve got to take a break here, since Frank is banging on Clara’s wall (Yes, we lock him in the room. Yes, the furniture’s bolted) who is now up…
Hey it’s 3:49pm! I’ve almost made it through the day. Pass the wine.
Upon going upstairs to get my children from their always-too-short naps, I walk into a trashed toddler room (not surprised) and see a big wet spot (surprised) on the floor. The kid took his diaper off and peed! He’s pretty well potty-trained but I still put him in a diaper for ‘nap’ (read: I lock him in his room while he plays) and at night. Well, he told me he “didn’t want to pee in a diaper.” Mmmk, where was this anti-diaper gusto a month ago? At least I can clean that up. He also ripped the metal rod off the wall that holds the curtain open…I’m so glad the weekend is so close, because the Honey-Do list just got longer.
Needless to say, Mama wanted to run away. I didn’t, though! I did make it to the YMCA where I was not called to come get my crying child early (#win!) and I did run, hard, but on a treadmill. Good thing, too, because my husband didn’t get home until 7:15pm. I’ll spare the dinner shenanigans…now pass me a beer.
When she recounted the shenanigans of her day to me, I just knew I had to share. I can’t be the only one to enjoy a good chuckle at her expense! Thanks for your sense of humor in the midst of chaos, Ashley. I’m so glad you’re my friend along this journey!
