Growing up (without internet and smartphones!) my mom always made us write thank you notes to friends and family for gifts or an act of kindness, no matter the occasion. Nowadays, it seems a handwritten thank you note is something of a dying art! It’s a shame too, because I know I’m not the only one who appreciates them.

Our first birth experience was a long, natural, hospital delivery of our rainbow baby, Claire. It was amazing, hard, and beautiful. Before becoming pregnant with Claire, we suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was devastated by that experience, so when we got pregnant again, I was grateful but extremely anxious. All pregnancy loss is sad, but there’s something especially tragic about losing your first because it forever taints your experience. When your only frame of reference up to that point is a loss, even a healthy pregnancy has an extra layer of fear and anxiety.

Three years later, I can still remember the most vivid details of this eventful day. Things like what songs I sang, what I ate for dinner, and where we parked at the hospital.

One of the aspects of pregnancy that lots of people talk about is creating a birth plan, but it gets put off until the very end for so many women. I was only able to find one sample birth plan that I liked. I wished my OB had provided some samples for me to work off of, but they didn’t talk about it with me at all. The one I based mine off of I ended up finding in the back of a book at one of the hospital classes we attended toward the end of our pregnancy with Claire.

When I made mine and showed it to my doctor, she said “Sure we can add that to your chart,” which I took to mean no one was going to read it and look it over to see what I might’ve missed, let alone help me stick to it. I took that opportunity to do tons more research, memorize my plan, talk it over with and share it with my husband, so that we could let nurses know what we wanted.

Time flies when you’re having fun. Nine years ago I married my PA high school sweetheart in the middle of a beautiful upstate NY snowstorm. A day later we flew to our honeymoon and a week later we moved to NC. It was a whirlwind then, but I wouldn’t change any of it.

Nine years, and we’ve never looked back. Many trials and two kids later, I’m happy and blessed and more in love than the day we met (in the back row of Mrs. Miller’s 11th grade health class).

On our wedding we got many wonderful gifts, cards, and well-wishes. However, the one that has stuck with me the most is a card with an essay from Barbara Cage. Each year I read back over this card and realize how much more true it all is with each and every passing day.

I hope this will bring you the same joyful encouragement it does to me all these years later.