I’ve been struggling with the burdens of friendship recently. I believe passionately in community. If you follow me on any platform, you might’ve noticed. I started this blog, a Mothers Ministry, and a neighborhood Bible Study to help encourage women and build community for myself and others. I feel strongly that we need a village, a solid reliable community, to do this earthly life.

Yet I am learning the hard way when you’re far from family in a new area, sometimes you have to build your own village. I want to be obedient to the call to build community for women, particularly mothers, and be an encourager as the Holy Spirit leads me.

My husband and I have been involved at our church for 10 years, and a year ago we began hosting a weekly small group. It’s been good for us because we’ve been able to get to know new people and make new friends. We’ve been helped by our group and we’ve been able to help others.

But, still, people are messy. And when you deal with messy people, life can get messy, too. Hence, burdens!

I try to focus on parenting my children with the gospel in mind and my eyes on Jesus the whole time, but I fail regularly. Thankfully, I have grace and mercy from God and a helpmate in my husband, and I’m able to try better each time.

One of the things I’ve been focusing on lately is when it comes to extending what’s been extended to me (grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, etc.), I struggle to extend in the same way to my children. It’s like I’ve been given some leeway after acting up, but I expect everyone else to act perfectly all the time around me. That’s hard to admit: I think I’m good at displaying mercy (not getting a punishment you deserve), but I’ve become increasingly aware of my need to extend more grace (getting a gift you don’t deserve).

Sunday May 13, 2018, is Mother’s Day in the USA. Mother’s Day, originally established after the Civil War to honor mothers who had lost their sons in the war, brings me #allthefeels, particularly in the last 4 years. As moms, we are constantly weighing all the pros and cons of every situation. We have to try to see into the future and anticipate it, for all the problems and things that might happen. It’s our job when we are responsible for keeping tiny humans alive, and that takes up a lot of space in our heads, hearts, and lives.

As a result, we sometimes forget about self-care or to deal with our own junk. Mother’s Day comes, and then all of that comes crashing together. Hence, #allthefeels.

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In September 2015 I began attending a MOPS (Mothers of Pre Schoolers) group near my house. It was hosted by a local church, but not the church we called home. I attended for about a year (well, 2 semesters), but in May 2016 when the year ended, the leader stepped down and a new leader could not be found (and MOPS appeared to have taken several steps away from their roots as a gospel-centered ministry), and the ministry at that church disbanded. It was then that I began to realize I couldn’t possibly be the only mom at my church who felt the need for this vital ministry and fellowship.