“When are you having more children?” “Time for Another!” “Why Doesn’t ___ Have Kids Yet?” & other comments that don’t mean to hurt, but can.

This post has been mulling around in my head for a while, saved as a draft for weeks, as yet another pregnancy announcement has come. Spring is a time for new beginnings, fresh growth, and the celebration of new life. I so get it! I love pregnancy, I’ve been through a few myself, but even so, I really think we need some education on the appropriateness of the question “are you pregnant?” and it’s variants. I know that some will feel their feathers being ruffled by my words, feel defensive, or offer an explanation/apology–but please hear me out, you apologizing to me is not the goal.

Pregnancy after a loss of any kind can be an extremely anxious time. Join me in raising awareness for those who have experienced a loss, and coming alongside them during their pregnancy for support, encouragement, and help.

Follow along here, on Facebook, or on Instagram.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The statistics show 1 in 4 women have experienced this type of loss. It is painful, humiliating, depressing, lonely, scary, sad, dark. I am 1 in 4, so I can speak from experience. I’m grateful to God for His many blessings, but I want to take this opportunity to remember our Bean. I’ve written previously about miscarriage and grief, so these aren’t new thoughts here today, but October has been a particularly tough month for me.

The other night I had dinner with the sweetest couple whose son was stillborn in August. Their desire to show compassion to others, their new outlook on life in spite of their grief, and their growing love for each other were inspiring. My heart was heavy, yet full. I cried when I stood in his nursery, complete but never used for its intended purpose.

They are living my nightmare, yet they are more than surviving. They are healing, at their exact right pace, and they are doing it with grace. I intended to bless them with a meal and friendship, and in their tragedy, they ministered to me. Grief is funny that way.